October Squares | Day Thirty-One

This is the last in the month that Becky (the Queen of Squares) has challenged us to find lines. In Squares naturally. I’m finishing with several poignant lines that I hope you will like.

Visiting time

October Squares | Day 31

Many thanks Becky for hosting yet another wonderful and inspiring challenge: you always get me to see the world around me differently. A review of this month’s squares will appear in a couple of days – meanwhile I hope you have a well deserved rest!

The words in this poem have been selected using a technique known as Erasure. I’ll let Cathy (~wander.essence~) explain it.

This type of Found Poem is known as Erasure, where you choose a source and erase away most of the “text” and leave words and/or phrases and/or sentences so that what’s left says something very different from what the original writing said and is art.  The end result should be something different from what the original text said.

Mine came from a page in a novel I was recently reading and I just thought I’d give it a go. The end result is not so different than the original text, but these words caught my imagination. I’ll leave it to you, the reader, to form your own story.

~wander.essence~ poetry

Published by

Heyjude

I have lived in the UK for most of my life, but when young I definitely had wanderlust and even ended up living in South Africa for several years which was a wonderful experience. I now look forward to a long and leisurely retirement doing what I like most - gardening, photography, walking and travelling.

17 thoughts on “October Squares | Day Thirty-One”

  1. Nice, Jude! I love this erasure poem and I’m glad you had fun with it and will try it again. I think they’re fun too. I love the sigh, the words of poetry dissolving, the frail voice of the mother, the signal of the end. I don’t know what the original text was; you say the meaning is not that much different. I find it is hard to find a totally different meaning myself; sometimes I feel I’m just condensing what the author said! But I love this, and I’m so glad you decided to try it. I’ll link it to my poetic journey of tomorrow, which I’m still frantically working on! 🙂

    1. Yes, this felt like I had condensed the original, but I loved the way these words flowed and even rhymed. And the bell signalling the end could have meant the end of the visit or the end of a life or simply the end of the poem. I shall certainly try again.

      1. Yes, I like the different meanings that one can read in those last lines – I wondered what the meaning was, but either way, the ending seemed sad. I like leaving interpretation open. 🙂

    1. It was good fun trying this out, the words I chose seemed to choose themselves. And of course I have been through many visiting times during the last 5 months…

  2. This is amazing Jude. So touching and so coherent. I would not have thought erasure could produce something so good. You’ve inspired me to go off and try it. I don’t expect results of this stature!!!

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